[Jake x Reader]Part II;; follows Time[>Two years later]My darling Rook,It's been a few years now since we had to part ways. I imagine that you would be in your stage of terrible two's now. Getting into everything, annoying your daddy and me. But we'd love you all the more for it. I can almost envision what life would be like now if you had been born. Harder for us, sure, but it would have been wonderful at the same time. Your dad is almost done with medical school. He's just making his rounds at all the hospitals now.Your dad is one smart cookie! And what do I do? What I'm doing for you now of course! I write. Novels, poems, prose, you name it. I don't get paid much, but that's because your mom is working hard to create that next best seller. Oh, it sounds like your father is home. He still doesn't know what I did, but I'll tell him someday. Out of my love for both of you. Wherever you are, I hope you're okay.Mom
Closing the baby journal, [Name] ran her fingers over the embossed name: Rook Joseph English.
"For what once was and what could have been," the girl whispered, rising from her chair and tucking the book into the back of her manuscript shelf. She knew it was safe there. Jake never touched her manuscripts without her permission. Hearing the front door close, [Name] skipped down the stairs and into Jake's arms.
"Hullo to you too, love," the man said, laughing as he caught the springy woman. "How was your day?"
"Just a tad boring without you," [Name] said pouting. "What about yours?"
"Making the commute to the different hospitals is a bit tiresome, but we're almost done. That doctorate is within my grasp; I can feel it. Soon you'll be calling me Doctor English."
"Yes really." Jake buried his face in [Name]'s collarbone with a smile. "I'm tired. Can I go take a nap?"
"I guess so lazy man."
"Hey! I'll have you know-"
"I was kidding, love. Go take a nap. Dinner will be ready when you get up."
"Gadzooks. I'm lucky to have you, [Name]. I don't know what I'd do without you."
She just smiled. "I'm luckier my dear."
After cleaning the kitchen, rearranging some of dishes, and fixing up a quick dinner, [Name] crept upstairs to the bedroom. Jake was splayed out across the bed, his glasses tossed carelessly on the bedside table. Smiling to herself, the girl wandered over to his side of the bed. Reaching out, she shook his shoulder. "Jake?"
Snatching her around the waist, Jake tugged [Name] into bed with him and wrapped his arms around her. "Tired."
"Well I see that! But dinner is ready-"
"Sleepy. Not hungry."
"Alright, well I am so-"
"When are we gonna have a baby?"
[Name] stilled before turning a bit to look at Jake face to face. "What's up with the sudden question?"
"Not so sudden," the boy admitted with a sheepish smile. "When I found Rose's pregnancy test in our trash, I was so excited. Because I thought it was yours, and I thought we were going to have a child."
Guilt settled heavy in [Name]'s stomach. Tell him now! Tell him the truth!
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, love. I didn't think a raccoon would have his happy way with our trash and you would find it."
"S'okay. I think I would just like a little you running around here soon."
"Me too," [Name] whispered, thinking of her Rook. "Me too."
--Sweet baby,I'm trying to find the right words to say to your daddy. He still doesn't know about you. I'm sorry, my little RJ. I still feel a little guilty for keeping such a secret from him, but I don't know how to start or even when my thinking is supposed to end. Will I ever truly forget what I did? I did it not only for myself and your daddy, but also for you. Things would have been hard on us all, my love. I'm sorry that you were essentially caught in the crossfire. I wasn't ready, your daddy wasn't ready.Obviously you were ready though weren't you? For a time, I was happy that I was going to have you. But life just doesn't work that way sometimes. I'm sorry, my Rook. I'm sor-
"What are you writing?"
[Name] jumped, slamming the book shut. "Jake! You scared the life out of me!"
His eyes caught the name of the title. "Rook Joseph English?"
Her hand slid across the name and covered it. "Yeah. I thought it was a nice name."
Jake placed his hand on top of hers. "Is this real? Are you-?"
"No." She slid her hand away, wrapping her arms around herself.
"I don't-oh, [Name]. Did you lose him?"
"Choice? How can that-Rose. The clinic. The test. It was yours. You had an abortion." Jake stumbled back from [Name], his eyes wide in confusion. "Why?"
"For us," she whispered, turning away from him. "With the student loans, you hardly being home when you have heavy hospital duty rounds. We weren't ready."
"That was not your choice to make!"
"Fuck you! It was my choice to make. It's my body, and it's my future!"
"It was my child! You could have at least had the courtesy to let me know, 'Oh hey Jake, by the way, I have something to tell you. I killed our child for us. I hope you're okay with that.'"
"At that early stage, it can hardly be called a fucking child. And you know what, Rose had one too months previous. We share the same sentiment about it being a bad time in our lives. I don't want to grow a child within my body for nine months only to fucking give it away."
"Why wouldn't we have kept him?!"
"Because I wasn't
ready! We had just bought the house, my writing career wasn't kicking off as I had hoped, and you were busy with schoolwork day after day. And you're trying to tell me that we would have been able to raise a child? I write to him, to keep his memory alive. I feel sorry for what I did, but I'd do it again in the same situation."
"So instead of confiding in me, your boyfriend
and the father of your child
, you decided to gung-ho off on your own? We could have made it work, and if you truly believed we couldn't, then I could have been there for you. Instead, you went with your best friend and you lied to me. For two years!"
"I didn't lie. I just didn't tell you the entire truth. It wasn't the right time, and you know what, I'm thinking that the right time might never come."
[Name] shoved Jake out of the way and left the room, heading down the stairs and grabbing her keys that were hanging up on the wall.
"Where are you going?" The boy asked, coming down the stairs after her.
"I'm going to stay with my abortion buddy. I hope that's fucking okay."
"Wait, [Name] I-" He winced as the door slammed behind her. Running a hand through his hair, Jake sat on the bottom step of the stairs and buried his face in his hands. "Fuck."