“ALRIGHT FUCKERS. LISTEN UP. THE THINGS I LIKE ABOUT [NAME] ARE-”
“ga2p. no kk. you can't! you have two make iit liike a 2tory! do what john diid!”
“ARE YOU SERIOUS?”
“CoMe oN MoThErFuCkEr. We aLl lOvE OuRsElVeS SoMe mOtHeRfUcKiNg sToRy tImE.”
“ALRIGHT. FINE. FINE.”
He first saw you working at some cafe near Sburb University. It had only been a couple years since all the trolls had come to Earth and people were still reeling from the shock of it. Most of the restaurants had put 'NO TROLL' signs in their windows to keep the alien species from darkening their door. However, Alternia Cafe was run by a troll, and accepted both humans and trolls alike.
Karkat had just started taking some classes over at the University, and his dorm room had been alight with the crashes and shooting that came from his roommate's video game. Wanting to get some studying done, he had walked the block down to the cafe and entered it for the first time. He took a seat in the corner, away from everyone else before surveying the area.
He could see two servers from where he sat; a boy and a girl. The boy had black hair and odd glasses, and to Karkat, he looked way too derpy to even-
“That's me! That's when I was working with [Name]!”
“Oh I just wanted to point it out.”
He opened up his laptop, remembering to plug it into the closest socket. The last time he forgot to plug it in, his laptop had died while he had been in the bathroom, and he had lost an entire project he spent a week preparing. He signed in and had just set to work when-
“Hey there. My name is [Name], and I'll be your server today. What can I get for you?” He listened to you introduce yourself, and he was impressed by the way you maintained eye contact. Normally, when people talked to you, they either stared at your teeth or your horns.
“This is my first time here, so what would you recommend?” He asked before he blinked to himself in surprise. Was he actually being...smooth?
“Tell you what,” you said, winking at your newest patron and smiling. “I'll go ahead and get you the house special. If you don't like it, then it's on me.”
Before he could protest, you bounced away, leaving him befuddled at the fact that you had just winked at him. Shaking his head to rid himself of such thoughts, he went back to his classwork. You chatted a bit with John as you made your newest customers drink. He and his girlfriend were doing fine, to your delight, and he was telling you about her latest prank escapade.
“You slept in the bathtub?” You asked, with a raised eyebrow and a grin.
“Yeah! Now she knows about my aversion to spiders, but oh man, it was actually comfy!”
“And here I thought I'd heard it all,” you teased with a laugh.
“So who's short, dark, and nubby?”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP JOHN!”
“She told you about that?”
“DUH SHE DID! SHE'S MY MATESPRIT!”
“iit'2 2uch an accurate de2criiptiion!”
“YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP TOO!”
“Not nice,” you said with a grin, swatting at John's arm. “He's taller than me, and he's almost as tall as you so he's not that short. And I'm not sure yet. He hasn't introduced himself.”
“He's one of the only trolls I've seen stroll in here like he didn't have any worries,” John murmured to you. “Most of the trolls that come in here expect to be maimed or something.”
Finishing up Karkat's drink, you place it on the tray carefully and take it to his table. Setting it down with a smile, you stepped back and held the tray close to your body. “There you are. I hope you enjoy it. It should keep you warmed up with all this cold weather we've been having lately.”
“Thank you,” he murmured, grasping the cup and taking a drink. Surprisingly, he found it well-made and quite tasty. “Wow, this is great!”
You smiled and bowed your head. “Thank you so much. It'll be on the house today okay? We hope you see you back more often, sir.”
He watched you walk away a bit before he finally said, “Karkat.”
You turned to him, confused. “Sorry?”
“It's...Karkat,” he said, a reddish hue plastered across his cheeks.
You smiled and nodded. “Alright then. I hope we see you here more often then, Karkat.”
For the next couple of days, Karkat graced the cafe with his presence. You were always delighted to see him, but he was always working on something for one of his classes, so you just silently set down his drink and walked away. Truthfully, Karkat was always watching you. Especially when you conversed with the boy you worked with. He found out his name was John, and his jealousy would spike every time you hit John's shoulder and laughed at something he said.
His relief was almost palpable when a girl walked in the next day he was there and jumped on John as if he was the best thing since sliced bread. Karkat heard bits and pieces of a conversation, and when they kissed, Karkat knew you didn't belong to the derpy boy. Finally, one week after he had been frequenting your place of work, he made his move.
“Here you are,” you said, setting his usual drink down by his hand. “I'm about to start my break so you won't see me for half an hour. If you need anything, just talk to John. He'll be able to help out.”
“What do you usually do on your breaks?” Karkat blurted out before he could stop himself.
“Oh, sometimes I just sit in the back and listen to music, or I'll take a walk to the park. It's always different.”
“Why don't you sit with me today?” He asked, closing his laptop cover and smiling up at you.
Biting your lip in thought, one of the things that Karkat still adores about you, you finally nodded your head. “Alright. Just give me a second to clock out for break and take this apron off.” He tapped his fingers on the table as he waited for you to join him again. He was rather nervous, to be honest, because he wasn't sure how to go about such things. What would he talk about with you? Should he have picked better clothes to wear? It wasn't like it was a date! Er. Was it?
You joined him again with a smile, but this time, you slid into the seat across from him. You figured that he would seem a little nervous, so you started the conversation off. “So Karkat. Does that come with a last name?”
He smiled and nodded. “Vantas. Karkat Vantas.”
Putting your elbow on the table, you leaned your cheek against your hand and smiled. “And I'm [Full Name]. Nice to officially meet you. Why don't you tell me about yourself?”
So Karkat did. Over the next half an hour, you both debated troll and human culture, learned more about each other, and had a few laughs. You learned that Karkat was trying to go for a degree in computer programming, and he also mentioned that one of his close friends taught him some new stuff from time to time.
You mentioned that you yourself wanted to go into some type of law practice to fight for Alternian Troll rights on Earth, but if that didn't work out, you always wanted to be a veterinarian when you were younger. Needless to say, Karkat was very impressed with your knowledge of all things troll, but more so when you started speaking it. “I don't know much,” you admitted with a grin. “But I hear things every now and then.”
Looking behind you, John motioned to the clock and you put on your best pouting face. He made a few kissy faces at you, while you stuck your tongue out at him and turned back around to Karkat.
“Sorry, I gotta get back on the clock.”
“I understand. Thank you for keeping me company. I found it...enjoyable.”
“Me too,” you said with a smile. “You've become my favorite customer, Mr. Vantas.”
You stood up and headed to the back, pushing open the door while John followed you. “So?”
“So what?” You asked, punching your numbers in and looking at the odd boy.
“You like him!”
Blushing slightly, you rubbed the back of your neck and punched John in the arm. “Hell no!”
“Hell yes! I've seen that face before!”
“I dunno, John. I've never really pursued a relationship with a troll before. Things might be different, and strange, and-”
“And he probably doesn't feel the same way.”
“He wouldn't have invited you to sit down if he didn't,” John pointed out. “Also, your phone has been ringing off the hook since you went on break. I didn't take it to you because I wanted you to have a comfortable half hour break.”
You made a face. “Oh jeez, it's probably my mother.” Grabbing your phone from your bag, you took one look as the thing began vibrating again to let you know someone was calling you. “It is her. Let's listen to this.”
You clicked to answer and put her on speaker phone. “Hello?”
“[Full Name]! Glad to hear that you can finally answer your poor mother's call! Lord knows that you have something else planned for your life that has nothing to do with little old me!”
“Hush child! You still working at that restaurant that let's them...trolls in?”
“There's nothing wrong with trolls, mother. The only difference between them and us is the horns and the teeth.”
“They're probably cannibalistic! Look at you, my poor baby, surrounded by monsters!”
“John's here too you know.”
“Oh, that boy couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag!”
“He-” John started to yell before you covered his mouth.
“What was that?!”
“John just went outside to talk to a customer. He's just a little loud today, Mom.”
“Well anyway. I need you to come on down back home here. I've found you a suitor.”
“Mother, I'm here to get an education. This isn't the old days where you can marry off your children.”
“How will you ever be financially secure? However will I get any grandchildren? You're not having anything to do with them trolls are you?”
“No, Mother, I just serve them what they want and go on my merry way.”
“Good! Your Great-Grandma Edith is coming on down from Kentucky to visit us here in the bayou in two weeks, so I want you to put on your best and come down to visit as well. At least try to get along with your suitor this time around, okay?”
“Whatever you say, Mother.”
“That's a good girl. See you soon!”
You clicked off the phone and shrugged, looking at John with a sheepish look. “Well, when my mother wants something...”
“Wait until she finds out that any future grandchildren she has are going to be part troll,” John said with a smirk. “Can't fight my ass. What a wench.”
You smacked John in the arm again, your face alight with a blush that put the reddest tomatoes to shame. “Shut up you. I've only know Karkat for a week.”
“You don't choose who you fall in love with.” John's tone had become more serious, and you turned to look at him. “Time and distance don't matter when it comes to the heart.”
“You know, for once you sounded smart there Egbert.”
“And there it went. Poof. Out into space.”
Two weeks went by quickly, and soon, you were telling your boss that you were going back down to Louisiana to visit some family. He gave you a hug and told you to come back soon since his cafe wasn't the same without you. Shrugging on your coat, you walked into the main room before your eyes were drawn to someone waving.
Smiling, you sauntered over to the troll before sliding into the seat across from him. “Hey there, Karkat.”
“Going somewhere, [Name]?” He asked nonchalantly.
Tucking some hair behind your ear, you laughed softly. “Yeah. My mother called me and asked me to come down to Louisiana. To visit you know. She's very traditional. She, uhm, says she has a suitor for me, and she doesn't like trolls so.”
You cast a glance up at Karkat. “That's how bad it is. Though, she's one of the reasons why I fight for troll equality. Because you guys are people too.”
The troll sat there silently, trying to take all you said in. The main thing that stuck out in his mind was suitor. “Wait a minute here. So you're saying that your mother has a suitor for you? I didn't think they did stuff like that anymore!”
“My momma likes to refer to herself as Queen of the Bayou. My family doesn't want for nothing because of my father's profession, but I wanted to get out and see the world. So I left. I didn't want to become a Bayou Princess, and I sure as hell didn't want suitor after suitor pining after me. Mother says I shouldn't have left.”
“Wanna know a secret?” Karkat asked, dropping his voice to a whisper.
“Come here.” He crooked his finger and you leaned across the table to hear what he had to say. “Ready?”
You nodded, and he leaned in, before capturing your lips with his. You could almost feel his sharp teeth wanting to bite at your bottom lip, but he restrained himself. He tasted of the spicy mocha that you always made him, along with something that was strangely cherry. Pulling away, he smirked at seeing your dumbfounded look.
“For what it's worth, I'm glad that you left, Bayou Princess.”
“you're 2uch a dweeb kk.”
“AS IF YOU HAVE FUCKING ROOM TO TALK SOLLUX.”
“come clo2er. ii have two tell you a 2ecret a2 ii mouth rape you.”
“OH MY GOD. I'M SERIOUSLY ABOUT TO JUST STOP FUCKING TALKING!”
“No wAy, KaRbRo. FiNiSh tHiS MoThErFuCkInG StOrY Of mIrAcLeS!”
You blushed and stuck your tongue out at Karkat. “I'm certainly no princess, Karkat.”
“Ah, I beg to differ. Things haven't been easy for us trolls since we've come to Earth, but it's people like you who make things worthwhile. You're a princess among the peasants, and you've become quite an addiction for me.”
“A good one I hope,” you teased with a grin. “We don't need you addicted to something like crystal meth you know.”
“A crystal maybe. A diamond in the rough, as I believe the saying to be.”
Grasping his phone that was lying in reach, you typed in your phone number. Calling yourself with his phone, you saved his number as well before putting his phone back down. “I'll call you when I get there. I'll be staying in a hotel, rather than my father's estate down by the river because well. I have to keep a tight leash on my freedom.”
Leaning forward, you pulled his face into a searing kiss before letting him go and standing up. He appeared to be in a bit of a daze before blushing and coughing to try and hide it. “Don't forget about us little folk here in the time you're gone,” Karkat finally said, the smirk back on his face.
You rolled your eyes. “Sure, sure. The Bayou Princess is out.” You waved to him as you trotted over to the door to the cafe before opening it and leaving his sight for good.
Karkat sat at the table, fiddling with his phone. Feeling a little quirky, he sent you a text.
-COME BACK SOON, OKAY?-
-Oh is that your 'quirk' I've heard so much about? All capitals? Why, btw? Missing me already?-
-FUCK NO. WELL. MAYBE.-
-I'll be home soon! And I promise to call you ;3-
Karkat coughed to himself and looked around, wondering if anyone had caught his conversation. Looking down at his phone, he was lost in thinking so much that by the time he looked back up again, John was sitting in the seat across from him.
“JESUS. Don't you know how to warn a troll?”
“You love her don't you?”
“I-I have no idea what-”
“Her mother is batshit crazy with the belief that her daughter should marry some other family bayou royalty and continue on their heritage. To be quite frank with you, I want [Name] to bear half-troll children.”
“What in the ever living fu-”
“If she goes down there, she WILL get swayed by her mother. She will not be coming back. To this cafe, to her life, nor to you.”
Karkat swallowed noisily and sighed. “Never thought it'd happen, but yeah. I'm feeling kinda red for her. There's just something about her.”
“Then go after her! Don't you like those shitty romance movies that [Name] talks about? This is the part where you realize that she just walked out of your life, probably for good, and you need to go after her and get her to come back home!” John slammed his fist down on the table, and Karkat was surprised to see a hint of tears in his eyes. “She's been pushed around by her mother all her life because she's way too nice to say no. She would marry someone she doesn't love just because her mother wants the best for her. Go the fuck after her!”
Karkat didn't need to be told twice. Grabbing his bag and coat, he nodded to John. “Thank you.” He ran out of the cafe as far as his legs could take him. He didn't know how the fuck he was getting to Louisiana, but he sure had to try!
“Damn John. Do you know how fucking sugoi that speech was?”
“CAN I GET BACK TO THE FUCKING STORY YE-SOLLUX. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!”
“that 2peech. iit wa2 2o beautiiful. ii thiink ii need a hug.”
“GET THE FUCK OFF ME!”
You got ready for bed that night in the best hotel you could find. It had a balcony set of doors that you left open a bit so the night breeze could cool down your room. Dressed in a pair of shorts and a tank top, you grabbed your phone out of your bag and scrolled through your contacts. Finding Karkat's name, you pushed call and waited.
“Karkat,” you sang to yourself, flopping down on the bed as his raspy chuckle greeted your ears. “Do you miss me?”
“Every second. Which hotel did you finally choose?”
“Moonlight River. It's a bit up class, but it allows both trolls and humans so that's why I chose it.”
“You always have to be the Princess, don't you? Did you at least get a kickass room number?”
“Hmmm let me check. I don't think I paid enough attention to it on the door.”
Getting up off the bed, you went over to the door and opened it, only to be greeted by a smiling Karkat with a bouquet of roses. Squealing, you dropped your phone and launched yourself into the troll's arms, knocking him to the ground as you kissed his face over and over again.
“I'm so happy to see you!”
“I'm just glad you didn't crush the poor flowers,” he admitted, having flung them away in his haste to protect them from the speeding bullet that was you.
“Why are you here?” You asked, excited that he was, but curious all the same.
“Well if you would let me get up...” He trailed off and motioned to the fact that you were indeed still on top of him. Laughing, you moved and grasped his hand to help him up before grabbing the flowers from the floor.
“They're beautiful, by the way. Thank you so much.”
Stepping into your room, he closed the door behind him as you looked around for a vase or cup to put the flowers in. Finally, you just set them on the bedside table and smiled at him. “So what's up?”
Taking both your hands in his, he smiled. “John, well. He brought me up to speed on some things, and I just knew that I had to see you. It hasn't been that long since we met, but your dedication, your charisma, your smile, your laugh...basically everything about you makes me want to be better, just for you. I came to tell you that I love you, [Name]. And no Bayou Queen is going to ruin that for me.”
You buried your face in Karkat's chest as tears slipped down your cheeks. Never had you imagined something like this happening to you. You always imagined meeting some guy your mother had chosen before getting to know him while being betrothed. It wasn't the life for you, and when your mother had tried to force you into a marriage you didn't want, you ran away on the day of the wedding.
“I-uh. Are these tears a good thing or?” He asked, wrapping his arms around you while you nodded your head. “So they are good?” You gave him another nod. He kissed the top of your head and chuckled. “Leave it up to me to make the girl I love cry right off the bat. Great going Vantas.”
Pulling your face away from his shirt, you smiled. “I love you too, Karkat. Perhaps I didn't realize just how much. I want you with me tomorrow, so we can announce our relationship to my mother. She needs to finally understand that she can't control me anymore.”
The next morning, you and Karkat arrived at [Last Name] Manor bright and early before anyone else could show up. When your mother saw you holding hands with Karkat, she hollered to your father to grab the gun, while trying to separate you two.
She finally stopped at your loudest yell, and looked over at you wide-eyed. “My child, what are you doing with this troll? I thought I told you-”
“I'm pro-troll, Mother! I support their rights and all they stand for. I can speak the ancient language of Alternia, and I'd like to introduce you to Karkat Vantas. My boyfriend.”
Clearing his throat, he said, “It's nice to meet you, ma-” SMACK. Karkat's head was turned to the side as a bright red hand print appeared on his right cheek. At first, you were pissed off at your mother for hitting your boyfriend, but then you noticed Karkat's blood color.
“Oh, no wonder why I tasted cherries when we kissed. You have the same blood color as I do.” You said, nonchalantly as a reddish hue took its place across his cheeks.
“[Name]! Oh, [Name], child! Have I taught you nothing at all?”
“Both you and father taught me to be fair and equal to everyone. Trolls are people too.” Crossing over to Karkat's side, you leaned into him as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders. “I love him, mother. He's been better to me than any suitor you've sent my way, and if you want grandchildren, then they'll be half-troll. You better get over your racism to trolls now because eventually, they'll be legal citizens like us.”
“Hah, you got owned by an old lady Vantas.”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP DAVE.”
“Isn't [Name] just the coolest? She still fights for troll rights even today!”
“DUH JOHN. SHE'S DATING ONE, SO OF COURSE SHE WOULD. CAN I GET BACK TO THIS?”
A couple weeks later, Karkat moved out of his dorm and into your one bedroom flat near the cafe. It was in a prime location so that you both could walk together until you stopped at the cafe, while he headed out to the University. Like John, you took online classes so that you could do the course work when you could because it helped to at least have money.
Your mother wanted nothing to do with you after you told her off, and told you to only contact her when you had dumped the 'nasty monster who had been messing with your mind.' Your father was more lenient however because you were still his little girl, and he actually worked with some trolls who were pretty cool. He sent you some money every month to help you and Karkat out.
One of the things that Karkat learned quickly was that sleeping in boxers around you was a no-go. You were a blanket hog. In the middle of the night, you would bundle all the blankets up, wrap yourself around them, and hug them to death. When you questioned why he started wearing shirts and pajama pants to bed, he called you a blanket stealer, which you thought was the cutest thing in the world.
You had a lot of fun messing with his horns because while his body was impervious to tickling, his horns were not. Just lightly running your fingers across them gave him chills, which just made you laugh all the more. He would growl at you, especially if he was trying to do work, but the puppy face usually worked every time.
Karkat loved the odd things you always did when you were speaking or thinking. You would tuck your hair behind your ear, bite your lip and worry it between your teeth, or even bite pencils and pens. There was one time that you bit a pen so hard, all the ink spilled into your mouth. He laughed at your anguish for ten minutes while you were trying to get all the ink out before he came over and helped you.
As revenge, you licked up the side of his face with your inky tongue, which had him sputtering and mumbling incoherent expletives while trying to wipe it off with his sweater sleeve. He still called you his Bayou Princess, which made you blush every time. Seeing the red dust your face was a new addiction of his, but he would easily admit that just being with you was his biggest addiction of all.
“Oh man, my heart. So many feels.”
“wwhat the fuck dirk”
"SOMEONE ELSE GO NOW FOR FUCKS SAKE."