S a y S o m e t h i n g [John x Reader]

//Say something I’m giving up on you. I’ll be the one if you want me to. Anywhere I would have followed you, Say something I’m giving up on you. //

With a bouquet of flowers in his hand, John let himself into her room. [Name] was asleep on the bed, but he was used to that. Whistling quietly to himself, he placed the flowers in the vase and moved aside some of the curtains to let the light shine through. “It’s really a beautiful morning. I have no idea why you don’t open these once first light hits!”

Laughing, he held his hands up as he sat in the chair next to her bed. “No tricks today. I’m pretty much over that, as you well enough know.” He took her hand within his and squeezed it. He waited a couple moments before his face dropped, but the smile remained plastered to his face.

“Nothing today either huh? You know, [Name], I really can’t believe it’s been almost six months since that wreck. I know you’ll wake up soon, so please do! I miss the way you made cake since it was the only time I ate it! I miss all the pranks we used to play on each other, but most of all, I miss you. Just. Come back okay?” John kissed the top of her hand, and continued to hold it throughout most of the day.

John continued to speak about his day, and everything that was going on in the lives of the others. He mentions, with a laugh, about their newest friend Karkat and how [Name] would have absolutely adored him. While he spoke, a smile remained plastered to his face, as if his happiness could bring her back.

Hours later, someone placed a hand on John’s shoulder, causing him to jump. “Wha-? Oh, Dave.”

“I’ll sit with her. Why don’t you take a break?”

“I don’t know, Dave. What if-”

“You’ll be the first person we call. You know that John.”

“Where are the others?”

“Outside waiting for a turn to visit,” Dave teased, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

John nodded, leaning over [Name] to kiss her forehead. “I’ll be back soon.”

//And I am feeling so small, It was over my head. I know nothing at all.//

Sitting out on the cliffside, John allowed himself to finally frown. He wouldn’t cry. In fact, he refused to. If he cried, it meant that he had finally accepted that he wasn’t going to get her back. But she was going to come back to him. She was! He heard the crunching of grass behind him before another body joined his, their legs also hanging off the cliffside like his were.

“I thought I’d find you out here.”

“I thought you were with Dave and Jade back in the hospital?”

“I was worried about you too. We’re all worried, John. Perhaps it’s best if-”

“Don’t say it.”

“John-”

“I said don’t!”

“Okay. I’m sorry, John.”

“It’s okay, Rose. Now, please. I’d just like to be left alone for a bit.”

“We’ll be waiting.”

//And I will stumble and fall. I'm still learning love, Just starting to crawl.//

Returning to the hospital room, John took [Name]’s hand within his again. “You know, I was just thinking about you and I before all this happened. We hadn’t even been together long! If this is your way of telling me we should have waited more before dating, then it’s working.”

It was how he coped, John had figured out. He teased, made jokes, and always kept a smile on his face. After all, if [Name] wasn’t going to be happy, then he was going to be! For the both of them. He certainly had enough happiness to go around a room, so he thought to put it to good use.

“How long had it been?” He paused, as if expecting her to answer before he barreled on through the sentence. “About two or three months right? You shouldn’t have been driving anyway, silly. I told you it was just a simple cold that would go away in a week, and guess what, it did! But by then, you were sleeping here. I got better, so now it’s your turn! This is like a weird backwards game of tag right? Tag I was it, tag you were it, and now it’s time to tag someone else!”

His three friends listened to him speak to [Name] while they stood outside listening. Out of them all, John was the most optimistic at a full recovery from his girlfriend. They had tried to explain to John that [Name] might never wake up, but he wouldn’t hear of it. She would wake up, he had told them over and over again. She wouldn’t do this to us!

“The others miss you too you know. Jade, Dave, and Rose. Dave misses the times you always critiqued his sick beats, but he’d never admit it. Jade missed hanging out with you, while Rose misses all the debates you guys used to have. I’m sure they’d like to have those times again, so that means you need to wake up right? I’ve already tried to kiss you awake, eheheh. It didn’t work, but I’ll try it again and again if that means that eventually you’ll show me those pretty [color] eyes. I miss the face that you used to make whenever I told a dumb joke too! I have plenty more jokes over the months, and I can’t wait to tell them to you.”

Looking down at his watch, John stood up from his chair. “I should take off now, [Name]. Visitor time was over a long time ago, but the nurses love me so they allow me to stay longer than the others. You’re so lucky to have great nurses, so be sure to thank them lots when you wake up again okay?” The boy smiled and patted [Name]’s hand. “I’ll be back bright and early tomorrow with some more flowers for you. I know how much you like them, after all.”

//Say something I'm giving up on you. I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. Anywhere I would have followed you. Say something I'm giving up on you.//

[>Two Months Later]

“You wanted to see me, Doc?”

“Yes, please come in John.”

“How’s [Name]? There’s nothing wrong right?”

“No, no John. Nothing’s wrong. Have you been visiting?”

“Everyday! I always open her curtains to let the light shine in because she’s missing such beautiful days. I talk to her all the time, and even the others come to visit too.” John said, grinning that toothy grin that [Name] always loved. “I bring her different flowers for different days as well. I’m sure she really appreciates it.”

“I’m sure she does too, John. I’ve called you in here to tell you that we’ve been monitoring the times where you’re away versus the times that you’re there.”

“And?”

“They don’t really change, John.”

“What do you mean?”

“Sometimes, when someone is in a comatose state, something in their brain wave changes when they are being talked to or even touched. It means that somewhere, they’re still there and just waiting to wake up.”

“And [Name] isn’t responding?”

“No John.”

“So nothing I’ve done or said has even made a difference? I haven’t gotten through to her at all?”

“No I’m afraid not. It’s at this point that we’d like to-”

“I know. J-just. Don’t say it.”

“We’re ready when you are, John.”

The downtrodden boy trudged back to [Name]’s room and opened the door. In his mind’s eye, [Name] was sitting up and waiting for him. She was smiling brightly, and holding out her arms to him as she said his name happily. When he blinked, the image was gone, replaced with cold reality. Sitting down next to his love, he took her hand for the last time.

“I know I told you that I’d always be smiling and happy when I visited you,” John said, tears welling up in his eyes. “But perhaps it’s time that I stopped ignoring a future without you. I’m sorry that I couldn’t do more. I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I just wanted you to wake up. I just want you-” Burying his face in the sheets by [Name]’s hand, he wept bitterly for the first time in more than half a year.

//And I will swallow my pride. You're the one that I love, And I'm saying goodbye.//

With John refusing to be present, Rose, Dave, and Jade signed off on the papers as [Name] had always called them her family. Rose held her best friend’s hand as she was taken off the life support, and she finally passed. All four pitched in to have a simple, yet beautiful funeral for [Name].

As they buried the casket in the ground, John looked over at his friends. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t accept that she was really gone all those months ago.”

“You were holding onto the small hope. You didn’t want to have to say goodbye.”

“It was inevitable someday,” John said bitterly, looking up at the gray sky as the rain let loose. “Goodbye, [Name].”

//Say something.//