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Homestuck by GodIsCrying4U

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Submitted on
February 15
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3,638 (8 today)
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Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.


“Golly, sorry about that [Name]! I honestly had no idea you were standing there!”

“Jake, I’ve been standing here for the past ten minutes. Stop trying to shoot me in the ass with an arrow!”

“But it’s what cupid does and-”

“I don’t need to go to the hospital the day before Valentine’s Day. Get a stupid nerf gun or something!”

“Wait, so you don’t actually use real arrows?”


“What in the devil fucking dickens is that Strider having me do exactly?!”

“Wait which one?”

“Both of them combined actually. I’m also supposed to hit you with a smuppet because-”

“I am not a bitch who loves smuppets, and I am going to kill those two. Later, Jake!”

“Ah wait-Cripes. John ‘ol boy! There you are.”


“Come, come! I just need you to stand here, just so. Perfect. Now, I’m going to balance this apple on your head alright?”


“Because I’m going to shoot it with this arrow. I bought these for no reason apparently, and I thought why not use them on my cousin!”

“But Jake-”

“Better stand still ‘ol boy. Sorry about this apple.”


“Ah! Went right through. Jolly good show on that.”

“Are you seriously eating that apple after you shot it with an arrow?”

“[Name]! I thought you left to go kill the Strider twins.”

“They expected me and tried to start a strife. I’ll get them later. More importantly, why are you eating the apple you just shot? Weirdo.”

“Well you see, apples are a rather superb fruit, and-”

“John?! Why is your cousin passed out on the floor?”

“Well I put the apple on his head and shot it. Poor lad is white as a ghost.”

“Sometimes I really wonder about you, Jakey.”

“Well then, dear [Name], I have to wonder about you because you are dating me.”

“That’s true. We’re just a couple of loons I guess.”

“Quite right!”


“Happy Valentine’s Day Jake.”

“More fodder for my arrows!”

“No you butt. They’re fake apples with apple candy inside.”

“So I can’t shoot through them?”


“Oh, also, I got something for you as well!”


“Yes, yes! Turn around now!”

“Okay? I-hey! Did you just shoot me in the ass?!”

“I got that nerf dart gun that you mentioned! Isn’t it spiffy?”

“I’m going to fucking kill you.”

“Can we eat all this candy first?”

“I guess.”

“I got you something else too. Here you are.”

“Oh Jake, this necklace is beautiful! But why is the charm an apple?”

“Because you’re the apple of my eye!”


“Happy Valentine’s Day, [Name]! He shoots a-”

“Just eat your fucking candy.”
It took forever for me to find a preview image lol. And I lied. I went and ate first and watched some of the Walking Dead with my brother before I sat down and typed this little bit out~ He's so behind me in the Walking Dead that I'm sitting there in my feels and telling him 'just wait; jusssttt wait'. Either way, happy belated Valentine's Day, and this concludes my four-pack. Time to go start work on Falling Leaves.

Tangy Orange - Dirk

HS Characters (c) :iconthehussplz:

Story (c) :iconnatsneko:

Top Image (c) :iconcinnamoncoffeetreats:

Add a Comment:
souleaterchic123 Featured By Owner May 31, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Am I the only one that noticed Jake agreed to being a loon?
RavynMaryam Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Gog Dammit, I Messed Up On The Second Icon, It Was Supposed To Be This: :iconsqueeeeplz:
RavynMaryam Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
:iconhandspazzplz: :iconsqueeplz: :iconletmehugyouplz:
NatsNeko Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2014  Student Writer
I'm glad that you enjoyed it ^^
RavynMaryam Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
AlextheHuman27 Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2014  Student General Artist
Poor John XD

Anyway, its frrakin hilarious!! I stayed at 2 in the morning reading X3
NatsNeko Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2014  Student Writer
Poor John indeed! ^^ I'm glad that you enjoyed it.
GlowKit Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2014  Student Writer
this is totally how i would be like if i was dating Jake!! XDD well done!!
NatsNeko Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2014  Student Writer
I'm glad that you enjoyed it~
AquosSun Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer

How could I miss out on this beautifulness?!! :noes:

..Okay, I've been completely stuck to the Gigapause RP chat. I spent about 14-15 hours on it yesterday. *facepalm*
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